Welcome to SingaSaints  -  the Singapore Southampton FC Supporters Club!  No glory hunters, no Beckham fans, no skates!                                  "I see other clubs with bigger and better stadiums and more finances but they have not got the warmth this club has got." Gordon Strachan                                  "We may not be the best but we feel like the best. The future is red and white." SingaSaint Zul

GINGER BITES

    The priceless sayings of the inimitable Gordon Strachan!



  1. Although Strachan is first and foremost a coach, he hates the idea of a European-style system where players would be signed above his head. That happened during his tenure at Saints when chairman Rupert Lowe signed Antti Niemi against his wishes. Strachan recalls that Lowe backed up his view that managers were not the best judge of players by pointing out that farmer friends deemed him a good judge of cows and bulls. Strachan's response? "If we need a couple of cows to play up front for us, you are the man to see eh?" (October 2006)


  2. Strachan on team spirit: "People talk about how you make team spirit - is it golf days? Or going out drinking together? That doesn't count. When you drink, you just tell lies to each other anyway and talk rubbish." (September 2006)


  3. Strachan doesn't think there are any serious injuries after Celtic beat Rangers 2-0 at Celtic Park: "Thomas Gravesen thinks he's broken his hand, but I told him that you play football with your feet and not your hand." (September 2006)


  4. Gordon Strachan, on the day Celtic pick up the SPL silverware, being asked what he was going to do that night: "24's on. Jack Bauer, he's some man. Widnae mind him in the back four!" (May 2006)


  5. Strachan is on Sky one morning. He sees John Terry's goal for Chelsea and is impressed that Terry goes up expecting to score. He contrasts this to Claus Lundekvam who goes up for every dead ball and never looks remotely like scoring. Strachan says if there was a dead body lying in the penalty area the ball would hit it on the head several times a season which is more than Lundekvam can manage. He says referees should book Lundekvam for time-wasting every time he goes up for a corner. The commentator asks, "If Lundekvam was watching, are you only joking?" Strachan: "No, I'm dead serious." (April 2006)


  6. Celtic manager Strachan is mad at Portsmouth for wasting the Glasgow club's time in persisting to sign John Hartson when told he was not for sale at any price. Strachan: "If it was a game of football, what you would need to do is show Portsmouth a yellow card for time-wasting!" (January 2006)


  7. After the Euro 2008 qualifying draw, Celtic coach Tommy Burns, who doubles as number two to Scotland boss Walter Smith, is dismayed at the national team's grouping with France, Italy and Ukraine. Strachan: "Tommy Burns is in a back room just now speaking to a sports psychiatrist - someone said at least we got better draws under Berti Vogts!" (January 2006)


  8. Artmedia Bratislava humiliate Celtic 5-0 in Slovakia and Motherwell hold them 4-4 in the SPL opener. Strachan: "I've had better weeks. I tried to make it better by playing my dad at golf on Sunday. We played 13 holes and I got beat by a 60-year old man with a bad limp. So hopefully bad things happen in threes and that will be the last of it." (August 2005)


  9. Manager Gordon Strachan ahead of Celtic's Champions League second round second leg match at Parkhead after Artmedia beat them 5-0 in the first leg: "I can see the loony hats being super-imposed on me now but I still believe we can reverse it." (July 2005)


  10. Strachan on being attacked by a Celtic fan while playing for Aberdeen at Parkhead in 1980: "It's always great fun getting attacked - one of the highlights of my career. He got fined £100 for that but they had a whip-round in the pub and he got £200." (June 2005)


  11. New Celtic manager Strachan on renewing hostilities with his Rangers counterpart and former Aberdeen team-mate Alex McLeish: "We even competed for the acne cream when we were younger. Obviously I won that one!" (June 2005)


  12. At Strachan's first press conference as Celtic manager, two broadcast reporters jostle for his attention with the same question, while a third one intervenes in an attempt to hurry the situation along. Strachan: "It doesn't really matter who asks you because they all work for the same station... a radio station, obviously!" (May 2005)


  13. An out-of-work Strachan who does almost everything outside football with his wife of 30 years, Lesley: "We were actually comparing our body fats when we got back home the other day, it's getting ridiculous!" (February 2005)


  14. Strachan, in an interview with Bryan Cooney, Sportswriter Of The Year: "People are very cynical about everything you do. When you decide to pack in, they think you're always up to something. 'He's going to Leeds, he's going there, he's going to do something'. That's journalism for you. It's people as well. They just couldn't believe what I was going to do.
               "Everyone says there's a yob culture in football. There's also a yob culture in journalism, so that's what you've got to be wary of. With me, journalists have known for years what's serious and what's tongue in cheek, but the ones who are more mischievous than others would use the tongue-in-cheek stuff to cause havoc.
               "I try to say to players now that they need to watch what they're saying. Take James Beattie the other day. He had a lot to say for himself. He put undue pressure on himself on Saturday morning by saying what was going to happen with Chelsea. Suddenly, he's head-butted somebody. Beatts has never been like that.
               "Darren Huckerby was the same when he went back to Newcastle with Coventry. He had something that was taken out of context and had headlines. On that Saturday morning, he actually lost all the strength he had because of that nervous energy and embarrassment. He was useless at Newcastle. So you have to protect yourself. It's not all journalists, far from it, but as I said, we're dealing with a yob culture. Funny enough, I'm going to do the speech at the Football Writers' Player of the Year awards."     (February 2005)


  15. Strachan: "My daughter Gemma was watching an old DVD of me the other day and then she watched me on telly. She says: 'Is Dad's nose getting bigger as he gets older?' The answer is: 'Naw, my head's shrinking.'" (February 2005)


  16. Strachan on ex-Scotland team mate and new Saints manager Paul Sturrock: "I knew Paul about six stone ago!" (March 2004)


  17. Saints lose at Highbury to two controversial Thierry Henry goals. Strachan is asked if he had complained to the officials after the game: "You can't get near to the officials, it's easier to get to the Pope.
               "If I'm in London next time and I get mugged, I hope the same amount of people turn up - there were six police officers, four stewards and a United Nations peace observer."     (February 2004)


  18. Strachan explains why he needs a hip replacement operation: "It was a month after I had the job at Southampton.
               "I was walking up the stairs at a hotel with my wife Lesley.
               "I think it was Room 327 we were in, and we were passing Room 323 at the time. I can't be more precise than that.
               "Lesley was wearing a short skirt and that was why I was in a hurry to get to our room. I remember, trust me - thank you very much. That was when my hip first went."     (January 2004)


  19. Saints play Man U the week after. Strachan: "Me and the coaching staff were talking about Van Nistelrooy breaking through on goal. What can you do? Stick your lucky shoes on? Or wear your lucky underpants? The sight of me standing there in just pants and shoes is enough to put anyone off!" (January 2004)


  20. In stoppage time Strachan sends on Chris Baird: "I said to him 'sit in central midfield, do not move from there'. They were my last words to him. The next thing I know he's going down the wing and I said 'Oh, good goal.'" (December 2003)


  21. On Jason Dodd's dubious first goal in three years from a corner-kick: "It's Christmas so let's not play Scrooge and take the goal away from Jason.
               "Taking corners you have to be brave when you have time to think about what you're going to do in front of 32,000 people. But Jason can handle it and my only concern is that, just like Matt Le Tissier, it takes him a long time to get back afterwards!"     (December 2003)


  22. How Strachan dresses for the 'big games': "I have discovered that when you go to Anfield or Old Trafford, it pays not to wear a coloured shirt because everyone can see the stains as the pressure mounts. I always wear a white shirt so nobody sees you sweat." (December 2003)


  23. Strachan reassures Saints he isn't breaking his contract to be the next manager at Leeds contrary to rumour: "Whenever there have been stories about me in the past, I have always left it and it has all gone away. That was my tried and trusted method so I stuck to it and I thought it would all die down. But it kept growing and when the lies started to appear, that's when I decided enough was enough.
               "I just wanted to speak to the local people. I did not invite Sky or Five Live, just the web site and the local media. I was not going to be a puppet for Sky, all I cared about was talking directly to the Southampton supporters to tell them what was going on.
               "It has happened a couple of times to me in my career where no matter what I say, it is misconstrued. If I make a comment then the media would ask the chairman or others for a response and then they would come back to me to comment on what they had said.
               "And it would go on like that. They play one off against the other and you end up like a dancing bear - although it does help if one of you is called Rupert!
               "I did not want that so I thought if I said nothing then it would die away as it had done in the past.
               "After the Chelsea game (which Saints lost 1-0) I was disappointed by the result. People kept asking me about my future and I think the national press took a dislike to me because I only wanted to talk about the match."     (December 2003)


  24. Michael Svensson is sent off for pushing Bolton's Mario Jardel. Strach: "Mario's a big guy and at 15 stone to fall like that... My grandson weighs two-and-a-half stone and he wouldn't have fallen because he's got more in him, he's a determined wee fella.
               "I don't know how you face people after that. When you go and speak to your mates and they ask what you contributed to the game and you say 'I fell, I fell like a big Jessie.' It wasn't even a real push.
               "It was a boring and scrappy match so when the incident happened everyone was laughing. You have got to see it in slow motion to believe it.
               "I'm not defending Michael, as soon as you put your hands on someone it's a yellow card, but it's not even a shove.
               "It was embarrassing to watch. It's not hilarious for Michael but it's funny when you see it and it will keep me going for the five-hour trip home.
               "I'm not arguing about the referee's decision - I'm arguing about respect between players."     (November 2003)


  25. The complete transcript of Strachan's post-match press conference following Saints' 2-0 home defeat to Man City: "Football hasn't changed from day one in that if you show an ability to control and pass the ball there is a good chance you will prove to be a good team. We also looked very one-dimensional and I will have to find out why. That's all I'm saying - thanks for coming."
               Later on however Strachan talks in detail on Saints' official website: "That is the first time in two years that I can recall seeing empty seats here before the final whistle. It was that sort of performance from us.
               "I am way beyond disappointed. The better team won, the braver team and the better passing team won. The one-dimensional team, the plodding team, the lack-of-imagination team got beaten.
               "The first half was fairly even and we might have scored on a lucky day but it needed to be a lucky day for us to win today. We are not looking for luck to rule our future so we have to get better.
               "The game has been the same for 100 years and the 40 or so that I have been watching it. The team that controls the ball and passes it best has the best chance of winning."
               City's second goal might have been offside. Strachan: "That was academic. That was irrelevant and not even worth talking about. We have got far bigger problems than worrying if a guy was offside or not."
               Speaking of Nicholas Anelka who was mysteriously left out and not even on the bench: "We did a lot of work on playing against him so that was two days wasted - three counting today!" (November 2003)


  26. Asked if Saints had scored their goals against Bristol City in the Carling Cup at the right times: "Scoring a goal is always the right time. I don't know if there is a wrong time to score one. I've never actually sat in the dugout and thought, "Oh no, that's our goal!" But I see what you mean, they had a decent start and had four shots before we really threatened." (October 2003)


  27. After a shocking first-half between Saints and Blackburn: "I was wondering what had happened to football in the 21st century. Someone said it was forgettable, but how could you forget that!" (October 2003)


  28. Commenting on Andy Cole's sending-off for a punch-up with Michael Svensson: "There was nothing untoward said when Andy left the pitch. I just told him he was a fantastic player and that I was sad to see him sent off. I genuinely meant that. The game was dreadful and we needed all the good players on the pitch.
               "Andy didn't say anything back to me, but then he probably couldn't understand my accent anyway!"     (October 2003)


  29. Strachan, keeping his counsel on Cole's sending-off, as Saints win 2-0: "I'm doing an Arsene Wenger here, I did not see it. But I saw the beautiful goals." (October 2003)


  30. Strachan misses Aberdeen's gala centenary celebrations but delivers a message to his former team-mates: "Ask the boys to send me a picture from the Friday dinner - I want to see how much hair they've lost and how fat they are now!" (October 2003)


  31. Strachan, on his illustrious career with Aberdeen, Man U and Leeds: "Aberdeen is, and always will be, my football family. It's the place where I learned my football and probably enjoyed myself most.
               "I don't measure my best club by the number of medals I have or how many goals I scored. I can only relate to the number of times I laughed. I laughed every day at Pittodrie."     (October 2003)


  32. Saints lose 1-0 to Newcastle and Middlesbrough in successive weeks. Strachan on 'changing Saints history': "If we are going to change the history of the club we need to come to places like this [St James' Park] and pick up the odd 1-0 win instead of a 1-0 defeat. We did not look as though we felt we could win here but that is what we have to do if we are to take the next step up.
               "It was an opportunity missed to come here and change our history because if we want to get out of the relegation idea and just above relegation we've got to come and win, but in the last few weeks we have got beat 1-0 twice. I want to change the history of this club so it is a big disappointment to me.
               "If you want to kill the Indians you have to kill the chief, and we didn't do that - we let Alan Shearer play. Put it this way - Shearer for us we win, Shearer for them they win."     (October 2003)


  33. Why there was no open-top bus tour after Saints FA Cup final loss to Arsenal: "I know the real heroes on the day - the fans. They should have had the tour but you can't fit 32,000 people on a bus!
               "They were the stars on the day. Round the country people were talking about the Southampton supporters - not the players."     (October 2003)


  34. Strachan on management: "There is too much said about that fashion accessory the 'super coach' or whatever it is they call it - it's all about players.
               "Look at your best managers in the world, they all know man-management. You don't play around too much. Arsene Wenger has had the same system and it seems to work, so has Fergie and Gerard Houllier. The super coach seems to be a fashion accessory right now but it's a lot simpler than people make out.
               "Coaching is easy - coaching is an absolute doddle. Management is far harder and there's a big difference between a coach and a manager, that's for sure. I love coaching, it's great fun. I don't like being a manager but the only reason I'm a manager is so I get full control of the coaching. There's a huge difference between the two."     (September 2003)


  35. Saints move up to 4th, their highest ever position in the Premiership, after spanking Spurs 3-1 away. Strach: "I'm going home now to get myself a Coca-Cola and a packet of crisps and I'll sit in front of the television and look at the table on Teletext all night." (September 2003)


  36. Reporter: "Is that your best start to a season?" Strach: "Well I've still got a job, so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure." (September 2003)


  37. Reporter: "Are you getting where you want to be with this team?" Strach: "We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into Europe. I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us to win the Champions League?" (September 2003)


  38. Saints' strikeforce of Beattie and Phillips put three past Spurs in the 3rd, 43rd and 60th minutes. Strach: "My two strikers were absolutely fantastic. Apart from the first two minutes when they were asleep, after that they were excellent!" (September 2003)


  39. Strachan watches a Steaua Bucharest match. Afterwards he appears in front of the camera and an interviewer asks: "Has coming here tonight helped you plan your tactics to win the (UEFA Cup) game against Steaua?" Strach: "I'm not clever enough to do that, I just put out eleven players and hope for the best." (September 2003)


  40. Saints recover from 2-0 down to draw 2-2 at Leicester. Strach: "In the first half the crowd was going 'Ole! Ole!' every time Leicester got the ball, in the second half it looked like they were looking for an ambulance for the matador." (August 2003)


  41. Claus Lundekvam is stretchered off after a clash of heads with Les Ferdinand. Strach: "Someone asked me at Leicester when Claus was carried off if he was unconscious, but I didn't have a clue - that's what he's always like!" (August 2003)


  42. Asked what rule change he would like to see brought in: "Get rid of the fourth official because managers used to be able to shout at the ref because he couldn't hear them but nowadays the fourth official hears everything that's said." (August 2003)


  43. The arrival of new left-sided midfielder Neil McCann prompts Strachan to answer questions about the future of Chris Marsden: "Mars hated being called a winger, but then we signed one on Tuesday and he went into a panic.
               "I said to him: 'I didn't think you were a winger but don't worry, there is always room for bald-headed grumpy old men in the team so you'll be alright!'"     (August 2003)


  44. Strachan, in praise of the little Latvian whom he tried to sign as Coventry manager: "The world is a better place when Marian Pahars is playing." (July 2003)


  45. Asked how he felt to be in an FA Cup final: "I've got a free suit, bloody fantastic!" (May 2003)


  46. After the 6-1 defeat at Highbury: "I don't need to go into psychotherapy. I might just go through that psycho-babble of kicking a boot across the floor and smacking someone in the head, as it looks like that works." (May 2003)


  47. Saints lose 3-2 to Birmingham. Strach: "I thought Christophe Dugarry's ability and personality were overpowering for everybody on the pitch - and I mean everybody. My players at times couldn't handle his ability but I thought his personality was too much for everybody. I've seen some strange things out there that told me who mentally was going to be the boss on the pitch today. The referee called for Dugarry to come 20 yards towards him. He refused to go and the ref went and saw him. That tells you what type of mentality you are dealing with.
               "The goals won the game but on the field mentally the strongest personality should be the referee. It's the first time I've ever seen anything like that and the fourth official said to me that it was out of order. I've seen Clive Thomas make Kenny Dalglish walk 20 yards to him but that's not what happened today. I thought it affected the game in terms of what you could get away with. But I reiterate he was the best player on the pitch and it was a world-class performance."     To which Brum manager Steve Bruce replied: "Only Gordon could come out and say something like that. I don't think Christophe influenced the ref. I think he influenced the game." (April 2003)


  48. Leeds come back from 3-0 down to just lose 3-2 at St Mary's. Strach: "If it had finished 3-3 it would have made a grown man cry!" (April 2003)


  49. Saints beat Watford to progress to the FA Cup Final. Strach: "The FA Cup gives players who are not the best in the world the chance to have a taste of what it is like to be a champion. Over time the championship will determine who are the best players but the FA Cup has a romance that allows people who have come through difficult times to have that moment when they feel like champions." (April 2003)


  50. James Beattie scores his 22nd goal of the season for Saints. Strach: "I'd like to thank James Beattie's parents for what they did 25 years ago." (April 2003)


  51. Reporter: "Do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the England squad?" Strach: "Ah couldnae care less, im Scottish!" (April 2003)


  52. Saints pull off a great escape for the second weekend in succession. Saints are 2-0 down against Aston Villa at St Mary's - but just like at Fulham the week before, they mount a storming comeback and snatch a last-gasp equaliser for a 2-2 draw. Strach: "When a team like Arsenal or Manchester United get something at the death, people always say they've got great character. When it's us, they always say we got out of jail. But what happened was our character and team spirit came through." (March 2003)


  53. When referee Graham Barber rules Ronny Johnsen's clumsy challenge on Beattie isn't a penalty, Strachan races to the touchline and pulls his jacket over his eyes, implying he - like the ref - can't see what's happening. Strach: "The ref said to me, 'If I make a mistake, don't make me look like an idiot.' I had a great reply lined up but it would have cost me a couple of quid so I didn't say it." (March 2003)


  54. Michael Svensson equalizes for Saints in the very last minute of play and Strach runs on to the Loftus Road pitch. The Fulham fans shout "Get off the pitch!" Strach: "It's not your pitch anyway!" (March 2003)


  55. On Fabian Barthez after he is carried off at St Mary's: "It couldn't have been that bad, he spent the second half smoking fags in my office." (February 2003)


  56. Agustin Delgado pisses off back to Ecuador in a huff. Strach: "I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yoghurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado." (February 2003)


  57. On Saints' Ecuadorian players Agustin Delgado and Kleber Chala: "All I know is I've got one big one and one small one." [Ed. Strach wasn't talking about his bollocks as commonly misunderstood.] (February 2003)


  58. Reporter: "So, Gordon, any plans for Europe this year?" Strach: "Aye, me and the wife quite fancy Spain in August." (January 2003)


  59. Grandpa Strachan: "We've [Strachan and wife Lesley] been together since 1975. She doesn't need to keep a firm rein on me, never needs to give me a bollocking. No chance! I like the training ground, but as soon as it finishes, I'm home. We've got three kids and now we're grandparents, which adds another dimension. Here's me at 45, sleeping with a grannie. It's grab-a-grannie night every night in my house!'" (January 2003)


  60. Strachan on ambition: "There are bits around management that I don't enjoy because some of them are very political and I'm not a political person. Indeed, I'm useless at it. I mean, I can go to board meetings and start a fight within 10 minutes. I've only been at two such meetings in my life. There are political coaches, political managers and political chairmen. It's not for me. Ambitious people scare me, yeah, because those with that kind of target usually only think about themselves.
               "My ambition is to be the best I can on that day. I've got to make sure everyone knows their job and prepare them, mentally and physically, for tomorrow. That to me is doing my job right, then I go in the next day and start again. I've got no target for six months, and I don't know where I want to be in four years. I just float along and see where I go.
               "Ambitious people have a target, whether they want to be Scotland manager, Celtic manager, the best coach there is. If they don't get there they become bloomin' pests. I've met them all. On their way up, they have this blind ambition to be taking over the rest of the world. To get to where they want to go, they've got to trample on others. That worries me. I've seen it too often. They end up without mates, without family, it affects their health because of the stress they're putting themselves under. There's enough stress in this game without putting yourself under any more. I've never stood on people's heads as a manager or as a player. I never did anyone down to get a game with Aberdeen. I just played. The same at Man United and Leeds. I've got no ambition to be Scotland manager, no ambition to be the Leeds manager, or indeed any of the teams I played for. I'm just going along and seeing where we end up. As I say, ambitious people scare me."     (January 2003)


  61. There are reports the delectable Holly Valance is interested in James Beattie. Strach: "She's not the only one - my missus is the same. I cannae ever sell him because the other players' wives, the manager's wife and the coach's wife will all be up in arms." (December 2002)


  62. Chris Marsden just misses scoring from a header that would have won the game against Newcastle. Strach: "I'm giving him a wig for Christmas, he might bury it next time!" (December 2002)


  63. Man U is uncharacteristically struggling and a reporter asks if it is a good time to play them. Strach: "The best time to play them is July." (November 2002)


  64. After going out to Bolton in the FA Cup: "It was minging - we played propaganda football in the first half. It meant nothing and I told the players that does not impress me." (November 2002)


  65. Commenting on Marian Pahars' yellow card against Man City: "It couldn't have been for a tackle as he never tackles, and it couldn't have been for dissent as he never says anything." (October 2002)


  66. Reporter: "Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?" Strach: "No, they should have got George Graham because I'm useless." (October 2002)


  67. Strachan, on a chatshow with impressionist Alistair McGowan: "If you can do Thierry Henry, I'll give you a game on Saturday." (April 2001)


  68. At an interview on 'Goals on Sunday', the cameraman's mobile goes off, Strach calls a halt to proceedings, calls the TV crew unprofessional, and demands to be asked the next question rather than the same one again. The flummoxed interviewer starts mumbling into his mike. Strach: "You're gonna ask the same question in a different way!"


  69. The ref makes a shocking decision against Saints and someone remarks: "I bet he's not popular at all is he?" Strach: "I don't know, I bet his wife still loves him."


  70. On Wayne Rooney: "It's an incredible rise to stardom - at 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson."


  71. On Eric Cantona: "If a Frenchman goes on about seagulls, trawlers and sardines, he's called a philosopher. I'd just be called a wee Scottish bum talking crap."


  72. On Alex Ferguson: "He used to play tapes of Bill Shankly talking. I remember that and a singer he liked. I don't know who it was but it was crap. He played it on the team bus too and all the boys hated it. Until one night it got chucked away. If he's still wondering who threw that tape off the bus, it was me. So maybe he was right and I'm not to be trusted."


  73. On heat treatment and ice packs: "My bum has been through every temperature known to man."


  74. After a bad performance: "The whole thing was an embarrassment to ourselves and to the club. That includes myself, the squad, the coaching staff and even the players who were not playing. If they are not good enough to get picked for that they really must be embarrassed."


  75. At a post match press conference in his first season with Saints when a mobile phone starts ringing: "That'll be the Samaritans for me, they normally call me this time on a Saturday."


  76. Reporter: "So Gordon, any changes then?" Strach: "Naw, still 5ft 6, ginger and a big nose!"


  77. Reporter: "Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?" Strach: "You're spot on! You can read me like a book."


  78. Reporter: "This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?" Strach: "You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there."


  79. Reporter: "What are your plans for the future?" Strach: "I'm going through that tunnel and having a cup of tea with my mates."


  80. Reporter: "There goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?" Strach: "No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah."


  81. Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?" Strach: "Velocity." [walks off]


  82. Reporter: "You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?" Strach: "I don't take stupid comments lightly either."


  83. Reporter: "There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?" Strach: "Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down."


  84. Reporter: "So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?" Strach: "What areas? Mainly that big green one out there."


  85. Reporter: "Where will Marian Pahars fit into the team line-up?" Strach: "Not telling you! It's a secret."


  86. Reporter: "What is your impression of Jermaine Pennant?" Strach: "I don't do impressions."


  87. Reporter: "What would you ask me if we switched places?" Strach: "Why do you do it?"


  88. The team had been so bad on Saturday that he calls them in on Sunday morning for extra training. They duly turn up, but no Gordon. After about half an hour one of the players contacts the man on his mobile and asks if he would be long? Strach: "You lot wasted my time yesterday, I thought I would return the compliment." And he slams down the phone.


  89. What would Strach like to be in his next life? "A footballer's wife."


  90. Strach: "The world looks a totally different place after two wins. I can even enjoy watching Blind Date or laugh at Noel's House Party."


  91. Strach: "I used to drive home from Manchester United training along the M56 and there was a left turn for Wilmslow, where I lived, and a right turn for Hale, where Norman Whiteside, Paul McGrath and Bryan Robson lived. I used to say that it was left for under three pints a night and right for more than ten."


  92. Recalling his first FA Cup final as a player with Man U: "My most vivid Cup final memories concern the unbearable physical pain I experienced on the journey home on the team coach, when I caught my finger in the toilet door; and the fact that the manager, Alex Ferguson, in a tormented world of his own through missing out on his first trophy, not once asking me how I was."


  93. Matt Le Tissier on what makes a good manager: "5 ft 6 and ginger hair."


  94. Ron Atkinson: "There's nobody fitter than Gordon Strachan at his age... except maybe Raquel Welch."


  95. Gary Mabbutt's Knee - a Coventry City fanzine - christens Strachan Gordon the Goldfish: "The unkind might say he is all talk. And he is. A goldfish swims around a bowl, eyes its world on its second lap, remembers nothing from its first. I was reminded of this by Gordon Strachan's after-match comments."


  96. A quote worthy of Strachan by Ian Holloway, manager of Queens Park Rangers, after QPR beat Chesterfield 3-0: "To put it in gentlemen's terms, if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they're good looking and some weeks they're not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She wasn't the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice so thanks very much. Let's have a coffee!" (August 2003)

    Strachan's dig at Wenger and Houllier

    Can Strachan's successors follow in the great man's footsteps?



  1. Saints are decimated by injuries going into the last game of the 2003-04 season and have to draft some youngsters into the first team. Luggy: "Claus (Lundekvam) and Kevin (Phillips) have failed tests so we are packing the Pampers because we will have so many kids with us!" (May 2004)


  2. Saints turn in a dreadful performance in the first half of caretaker manager Steve Wigley's first game in charge to go 2-0 down against Everton. Wiggers to the press after the game: "I'm pleased I wasn't sat before you at half-time because I would have been fed to the lions. First half was like a wake wasn't it? Gordon's not died, he's just gone on a sabbatical!" (February 2004)