Welcome to SingaSaints  -  the Singapore Southampton FC Supporters Club!  No glory hunters, no Beckham fans, no skates!                                  "I see other clubs with bigger and better stadiums and more finances but they have not got the warmth this club has got." Gordon Strachan                                  "We may not be the best but we feel like the best. The future is red and white." SingaSaint Zul

NEWS ARCHIVE News up to 31 Dec 05 SingaSaint Zul comments on Burley appointment in Malay! Simple Simon says the shenanigans at Saints were shocking! (pages 8 to 17) The cull begins (leave the ducks alone Rupes)! Antti reacts to Burley appointment and Coles release! Un-Burley-vable!!! Saints pinch themselves over dream appointment (nice one Rupes), Sir Clive is director of football! Burley profile, interview. (We asked Santa for Elizabeth Hurley but the geezer gets a little confused with age.) Fowl play! Wotte f**k! Saints to plug managerial dyke with mediocre Dutch manager??!! News up to 17 Dec 05 "Life at St Mary's" - the soap opera! An excellent summary of recent events by Stephen Orford! Saints to take time over new manager! Woody signs up to SFX! Saints and skinners - it just gets bet-ter and bet-ter! More It's official: Dirty Harry rejoins Pompey! Adrian Boothroyd likes Woody, Bobby Robson does not! Pet Rescue to save Saints? The Poles think so! Aunty and Ohmygodwhatamiss: instability's the enemy! Blueknapp to cover ass by turning up for work Tuesday? Simple Simon says... too much as the barbs continue to fly! Rupert shows how to win an iPod Photo! Clifford won't come back! Sir Clive says "not yet" but gives a longish interview anyway! LMA won't block Woody, Wenger: Woody could succeed, Woody's friends: Woody is secretly gagging for it! Le God and Benali to form managerial duo? Dave Bassett is gagging for it too! Episode 33 - Harry buggers off! And is gagging to return to his 'spiritual home'! News up to 3 Dec 05 Ted Bates honoured with road! Episode 32 of Sins at St Mary's Theo in shortlist of three for 2005 BBC Young Sports Personality of the Year Teddy bears all (about Harry)! Oo-er... perhaps Clifford is a prophet after all! (Saints implode, losing 3-4 to Leeds after going 3-0 up.) News up to 19 Nov 05 A Harry we'd like to have! (As for Redknapp, he can ...) Simon Clifford gone! (Couldn't have been the 'visionary' he was made out to be as he never saw it coming!) Interview with Sir Clive! News up to 5 Nov 05 Highlight of AGM! Comment All hail Sir Clive Woodward! Theo and Saints - a match made in heaven! Rupes wins Times libel suit and damages of £250,000 (not too shabby that)! News up to 22 Oct 05 Tony Adams wants to coach Saints! (Been drinking again obviously.) Theo Walcott - youngest scorer in Saints history More Saints equal league record of 8 successive draws News up to 8 Oct 05 Gloves of love! Woodward speaks! News up to 24 Sep 05 Bet you didn't know this! Oh when the Saints go marching inn! News up to 10 Sep 05 Jason St Juste signs! (Not Jill St John - the Bond girl who found a clever hiding place for a cassette in Diamonds Are Forever - so stop salivating all you sex maniacs.) Financial report 2004/2005! Midfielders Kamil Kosowski and Marcelo Tejera sign while Fabrice Fernandes buggers off! News up to 27 Aug 05 Dumber-er and dumberer-er! Nathan Dyer marks debut with goal and MOM award! (Yoann Folly and Dennis Wise both play for Saints - no wonder the team is confused.) Crunch talks over Woodward blueprint soon? News up to 13 Aug 05 Matt-a-tete! 'Mr Brazil' Simon Clifford joins! (Hopefully our boys will learn how to pass the ball.) More Which English football team out of the top 4 divisions has had the fewest wins in the last 10 years? Answer (No prizes though, it's rather obvious!) Coca-Cola Championship begins at home to Glenda Hoddle's Wolves Saturday 6 August! Fixture list Midfielder Djamel Belmadi signs for a month! Saints beat Anderlecht 3-2 to retain Ted Bates Trophy as Kenwyne 'Doggy' Jones scores a hattrick! More                           Kenwyne makes his mark News up to 30 Jul 05 Defender Tomasz Hajto and striker Ricardo Fuller sign! Welcome to the wacky world of Woodward! Sir Clive Woodward joins as Technical Director working for and under Harry Redknapp and for Huw Jennings, Academy Manager! Interview Telfer off after four years of unselfish service! CROUCHIE GONE!!! Crouchie going , Jak gone Back to basics! News up to 16 Jul 05 Rory wants to stay Woodward role confirmed! More! Darren Powell signs! New kit for 2005-2006 season News up to 2 Jul 05 SuperKev - hero to Villain! Harry snaps up Harry! Saints get Wise! Sir Clive the identikit manager? Surprise! Surprise! It's Saints alive with Harry and Clive! Jamie retires! Open meeting re Saints Trust on Thursday 23/6! News up to 18 Jun 05 Le Tiss: The Autobiography out soon! SISA say, "Lowe out!" Loyalty (and the lack thereof) in football! Riddle 1: Why are Saints players like porn stars? Riddle 2: What's the difference between Saints defenders and Terri Schiavo? Riddle 3: What can Danny Higginbotham and Andreas Jakobsson do that Mateja Kezman, Diego Forlan and Ade Akinbiyi can't? Answers News up to 4 Jun 05 Crouchie makes England debut at Giants Stadium Jason St Juste joining Saints? (not Jill St John so stop drooling) More Who's staying and who's gone so far! 16-year servant Jason Dodd leaves! More Mrs Lowe writes! Soxy retires! Harry and Crouchie stay but Jim goes! News up to 21 May 05 Relegation stats and poster! Celebtitty wrestling! Journo Martin Samuel on what the hell went wrong! TOP FLIGHT STATUS D. N. R. I. P. 1978 ~ 2005 DAMNED SAINTS        DAMNED DEVILS    Saints-Manure (c'mon boys we can beat this shit) is live on cable tv at 9.55 p.m. Sunday 15/5! Watch Saints dump Manure (or be dumped) with us at Marquee Bistro, #01-04 Capital Square Commentators say Lowe, Lower, Lowest! Dave Jones quote after Saints beat Everton to stay up in 1999 which hopefully will be relevant on Sunday: "Today we have won the Premier League because we are still in it." Crouchie - red for Saints and green for England The Political Economy of Football looks at Saints' bouncebackability! Latest relegation odds! PALACE        SAINTS    Palace-Saints is live on cable tv at 9.55 p.m. Saturday 7/5! Watch Saints shatter Crystal Palace (or be shattered) with us at Marquee Bistro, #01-04 Capital Square! News up to 7 May 05 Long-time fan Chris Newman analyzes Saints' decline! SUPER SAINTS        SORRY CANARIES    Saints-Norwich is live on cable tv at 9.55 p.m. Saturday 30/4! Watch Saints strangle Canaries (or be strangled) with us at Marquee Bistro, #01-04 Capital Square! St Rachan on how Saints can be saved! Saints odds on to finish bottom! NEANDERTHALS        NINCOMPOOPS    Pompey-Saints is live on cable tv at 6.55 p.m. Sunday 24/4! Watch the game with us at Marquee Bistro, #01-04 Capital Square! Saints U18s lose FA Youth Cup final News up to 23 Apr 05 BOLTON        SAINTS - from sucky to plucky    Saints U18s draw 2-2 with Ipswich in first leg of FA Youth Cup final! Bolton-Saints is live on cable tv at 2.55 a.m. Wednesday 20/4! Samaritans Of Singapore: 1800-221 4444! Don't do anything rash or stupid, life is precious and beautiful... despite being a Saint "I've seen teams suck, but we were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked." Homer Simpson SUCKY SAINTS        SUPER VILLAINS    Saints-Aston Villa is on cable tv (same day delay) at 9 a.m. Sunday 17/4! Saints U18s win through to FA Youth Cup final! More The immortality of Le God! Blackburn-Saints is on cable tv (same day delay) at noon Sunday 10/4! 'appy 'arry wins Barclays Manager of Month award - thus jinxing the Blackburn game which Saints will probably lose 3-0 News up to 9 Apr 05 Origin of the Harry & Jim song! A Saint's sanity - how to keep it! It's PLeat and Perrin as Pompey's goose is nearly cooked! Saints U18s win first leg of FA Youth Cup semi-final! Saints-Chelsea is live on cable tv at 12.10 a.m. Sunday 3/4! Watch the game with us at Marquee Bistro, #01-04 Capital Square! Lame attempt by the official site to convince us Crouchie isn't from the planet Zorg! Evidence A year ago on April 1... News up to 26 Mar 05 Boro-Saints is live on cable tv at 10.55 p.m. Sunday 20/3! Watch the game with us at Marquee Bistro, #01-04 Capital Square! Biography of Le God out - buy now! Goals Saints U18s win Group A title! If you've always thought Peter Crouch looks... a bit odd, now you know! (spotted on the official site before they removed all trace of Crouchie's alien connection) Men In Black are after this man in red-and-white Saints-Man U (FA Cup QFs) is live on cable tv at 1 a.m. Sunday 13/3! Watch the game with us at Marquee Bistro, #01-04 Capital Square! News up to 12 Mar 05 Ta ta Tessem! A congregation of Saints! Official site gets new look! Saints U18s nail Hammers U18s 4-1 to advance to semi-finals of FA Youth Cup! Quashie puts the boot into Pompey! (Prutton take note how it's done) Trophy wife! Saints-Spurs is on cable tv (same day delay) at noon Sunday 6/3! Crouch-ing tiger heading talent! Wigley returns! (not Wrigley, that's still banned) Harry birthday! Saints host Man U in QFs of FA Cup on 12/3 after exterminating Bees! ANGRY BEES        SUPER SAINTS    Brentford-Saints (FA Cup Round 5 replay) is on cable tv (same day delay) at 6.05 a.m. and 10.00 p.m. Wednesday 2/3! Quash all charges! Saints-Arsenal is live on cable tv at 8.25 p.m. Saturday 26/2! Watch the game with us at Marquee Bistro, #01-04 Capital Square! News up to 26 Feb 05 West Brom-Saints is on cable tv (same day delay) at 1.00 p.m. and 5.30 p.m. Wednesday 23/2! Bouncebackability according to The Times! Theo-logical position: Perseverance at the Saints! Saints-Brentford (FA Cup Round 5) is live on cable tv at 10.55 p.m. Saturday 19/2! Watch the game with us at Marquee Bistro, #01-04 Capital Square! Four mentions of Saints in one day! Yes! Superduper Saints U18s 1 Arsenal U18s 0! (sorry Arsenal, we know you beat Palace for us but we had to win this one) Arsenal say the obvious, U18s table This is pathetic but... Arsenal 5 Crystal Palace 1! (thank you Arsenal, we'll return the favour when you need us to beat Man U and Chelsea to win the league) End of Anders! News up to 12 Feb 05 Give to the Ted Bates Trust! Birmingham-Saints NOT likely to be replayed! Saints set up Chinese link! More Crouch-ing tiger hidden talent! Birmingham-Saints to be replayed? Nippers clobber Chelsea U18s 5-0! An unimaginary menagerie of mercies and mercenaries at St. Mary's! (dedicated to Colin Pearce) Saints-Everton is live on cable tv at 9.55 p.m. Sunday 6/2! Watch the game with us at Marquee Bistro, #01-04 Capital Square! Saint Bernard to the rescue! Birmingham-Saints is on cable tv (same day delay) at 5.00 p.m. Thursday 3/2! Saints sign fullback Olivier Bernard and striker Henri Camara as transfer window slams shut! Super Saints host winner of Brentford-Hartlepool replay in 5th round of FA Cup! Complete draw SUPER SAINTS        FISH FIDDLERS    Saints-P#%?*! is live on cable tv at 8.25 p.m. Saturday 29/1! Watch us crush the skates at Marquee Bistro, #01-04 Capital Square! News up to 29 Jan 05 'appy 'arry bares all! Muhammad Ali v. Joe Frazier? Bjorn Borg v. John McEnroe? Chel$ea A v. Chel$ea B? No, this is bigger and better! It's SCUMMERS V. SKATES!!! SUPER SAINTS        LEAVE-A-POO    Saints-Liverpool is live on cable tv at 8.40 p.m. Saturday 22/1! Watch the game with us at Marquee Bistro, #01-04 Capital Square! Skate captain Nigel Quashie defects to the Saints! (defects is short for defecates on the skates) U18s table updated! Now 'appy 'arry tells it like it is! Super Kev tells it like it is! St Rachan and more St Rachan! Newcastle-Saints is live on cable tv at 10.55 p.m. Saturday 15/1! Watch the game with us at Marquee Bistro, #01-04 Capital Square! Saints to host and bash skates in 4th round of FA Cup! News up to 15 Jan 05 Redknapp Sr showing Jr how to kick a ball (or is it the other way round?) More pics North London yob on Jamie and Calum! Transfer News! Beatts out! Midfielder Jamie 'Spice Boy' Redknapp and centreback Calum Davenport in! Nice dividends, shame about the points - a critical look at Prune Juice's spending policy! Saints-Fulham is live on cable tv at 3.55 a.m. Thursday 6/1! Man City-Saints is on cable tv (same day delay) at 3.00 p.m. Sunday 2/1!       Skates turn on their saviour

Useless Fact No. 3651 "The truncated icosahedron is the 32-faced Archimedean solid A11 corresponding to the facial arrangement 20{6}+12{5}. It is the shape used in the construction of soccer balls, and it was also the configuration of the lenses used for focusing the explosive shock waves of the detonators in the Fat Man atomic bomb ." Link

Le Tiss: The Autobiography Hardcover 320 pages (September 1, 2005) Publisher Orion Price £17.99 Book Description One of the most gifted and admired footballers of his time tells his story. About the Author Born in 1968 in St. Peter Port, Matthew Le Tissier signed for Southampton in 1985 and went on to score 209 goals (including 49 penalties out of 50) in 462 games, playing mainly in midfield. He was capped a measly 8 times for England. The force of this book lies in the space between those last two sentences.

Answers To Riddles 1.    They both get paid lots for going down! 2.    Terri Schiavo looked like she bloody tried to communicate! 3.    Danny and Andreas can put the ball in the net with devastating regularity!

Who's Staying & Who's Gone Staying Staff: Harry Redknapp, Kevin Bond, Dennis Rofe, Terry Cooper (returning to England to succeed Ray Clarke as chief scout). Players: Peter Crouch (unless ridiculous money is offered), Kevin Phillips and Antti Niemi (ideally but may have to be sold to make up lower income), Nigel Quashie, other core players. Gone Staff: Jim Smith (contract expired and not renewed), Christian Damiano (ditto), Steve Wigley (apparently unhappy at being blamed for club's relegation). Players: Henri Camara (gone back to Wolves), Olivier Bernard (contract expired), Graeme Le Saux (retired), Jason Dodd (contract expired), Anders Svensson (gone back to Sweden), Calum Davenport (gone back to Spurs). Uncertain Players: Jamie Redknapp (will play on or retire depending on what American knee specialist says), Rory Delap (may have to be sold to fund transfer war chest - but who would want to buy him?).

Relegation Stats Since the Prem started in 1992-93 there have been 37 relegated sides, not including this season (4 went down in 1995). Average position in the Championship the following season = 8.37 10 sides have gained immediate promotion = 27% (9 automatically, 1 through play-offs) 18 sides have returned = 48% It has taken them 32 years combined = 1.77 years per side And... 52% of clubs have not returned!

Keeping Your Sanity Ignore the table... but don't blame anyone if you have coffee all over the carpet.

Four Mentions Unbelievably Saints were mentioned four times in different contexts in Singapore on Feb 16. 1.   Saints-Brentford will be shown live on cable tv and this was advertised. 2.   ESPN conducted an interview with Jamie Redknapp just before he left Spurs (so he was wearing Spurs colours at the interview naturally) but the programme made lots of mention that he was now a Saints player (including showing him and his dad in Saints colours). 3.   SportsCenter (a daily sports programme) asked Matt Le Tissier if the FA Cup was an unwelcome distraction for Saints as they are battling relegation and Matt's reply was "it probably is but as long as we get teams like Brentford we'll see what comes out of it and if we manage to stay in the Premiership and win the FA Cup it would have been a cracking season." 4.   The All-stars Tsunami Charity Match played at Barcelona's stadium featured our Henri Camara who scored 2 goals to help World XI beat Europe XI 6-3. SportsCenter showed one of the goals which started with a bit of a mazy run past defenders and a good low finish with his right foot. Best of all SportsCenter called him Henri Camara of Southampton (and not Wolves which hold his registration or Celtic where he was on loan). Things finally looking up for Saints perhaps?

St. Bernard's Rescue Mission Olivier Bernard had just hours before the transfer window closed given Saints his word he would sign when Birmingham City called and offered him a great deal more money - £800,000 to be exact - to play for them. Harry Redknapp told TEAMtalk: "We've got a good new full-back in Olivier for free and we could have lost him to Birmingham who came in with a £500,000 offer to Newcastle after we had settled with him. I think they would have paid him about £800,000 more than us but he stuck with it." Such an unmercenary act is rarely seen in a day and age when players generally go to clubs that pay them the most money and dive and cheat to win games. Bernard's act is all the more commendable for the fact that Saints are in a relegation dogfight. But then Saint Bernards have always been focused on their rescue mission and perhaps we shouldn't expect any less of our Olivier.