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SUNDAY MIRROR
My new team are muddy marvels
by Anthony Clavane
26-12-04
St Rachan - a Saint forever
GORDON STRACHAN has found the ideal coaching job. It's about time too, as the "wee man" has been out of the game for 10 months and people were beginning to talk.
Strachan's had lots of offers from big clubs since he decided to quit Southampton in February and spend more time with his family, friends and Spike Milligan books.
After very publicly turning down Portsmouth a week ago, it can be revealed that only a few days later he was getting stuck in with his new charges.
He explains: "I'm coaching an Under-11 team in Southampton and I love it. It was pouring with rain and really muddy the other night and I made sure all the kids were completely and utterly manky."
If you imagined his approach to players was a bit more relaxed after travelling the world - picking strawberries, attending pop concerts and sparring with Alan Hansen on the telly - think again. The flame-haired one has not lost an ounce of his passion.
"I ended up sliding about the mud and tripping the wee kids up. So I've not changed a bit. I just use the upper body strength that I've developed these last 10 months."
Football has missed its own version of Milligan. Being serious for a moment, when will we be able to savour his post-match wit and wisdom and see him back where he belongs - in the dugout?
It seems strange that one of the best young bosses in Britain should still be out of work. After a glittering playing career, and a not-so-good start at Coventry, he took struggling Saints from the bottom of the Premiership to eighth place and an FA Cup Final.
So what will it take to lure him back into the big time? Strachan insists it's not big bucks.
He says: "I've just turned down a fortune at Portsmouth so it's not money. If I wanted money I could be working now, 10 minutes from here. But I didn't want to sour my memories of Southampton.
"Nothing's come up so far where I've thought, 'That's the right job for me'. Maybe that'll never happen."
The 47-year-old Scot will return only when he finds a job that genuinely inspires him. Ten months might seem like an eternity in football, but he's been enjoying the good life and he's in no rush.
"I suppose I need to get a job soon to get some decent stress and sleepless nights," he jokes. "The time really has flown.
"The media work has kept me in football but it's just something to do, it keeps me involved. It's not on the same planet as coaching.
"Although I love coaching, it's not a drug to me like it is to other people. The truth is that, with my family, I've had the best 10 months of my life.
"Sooner or later I'll get a job. It's reassuring to see my name linked to jobs."
West Ham is the latest, and we all know about Pompey and the Scotland post. But Strachan reveals there have been several others, which he and the clubs have kept quiet.
"I've been dealing with clubs for six or seven months and I've dealt with most of them privately."
So what would tempt him away from the good life?
He says: "It's got to be something where I'll go straight away, 'Yeah, I fancy that'. That I think the club has a good chance of doing something.
"I want to go, 'Oh yeah, this'll be good', not sit around the house wishing I was a football manager.
"I miss coaching and I miss dealing with players. I was 32 years at the coal face of football, starting when I was a 16-year-old. I was a captain early on and a manager.
"If you said to me, 'Go back to coaching tomorrow' I'd say, 'Lovely, not a problem'. Dealing with players again will be smashing."
In the meantime, he's been catching up on his favourite comedy writers, like Milligan and Monkhouse, reading history books, watching lots of football and travelling the world.
He laughs: "Someone suggested I was having a mid-life crisis. Could be. But mid-life crisis means fast cars, turning up at film premiers and having birds on the side.
"But I'm having a different mid-life crisis to that.
"I've seen a bit of the world. America, Australia, Spain and Portugal. I've picked strawberries.
"Just being with my family has been important for me, so we've gone round zoos and museums, stuff like that. I've only had two quiet days in 10 months.
"I like the TV work because the BBC arrange for me to get to games. I remember watching TV and all I heard was good goal, bad goal, bad defending. I thought I'd add to it a coach's way of thinking, something viewers might not notice."
So when he finally does return, he'll have more sympathy for the interviewers he used to taunt?
"Oh no. I still have no sympathy for commentators and interviewers. I now know more than ever they're trying to get that soundbite that'll light up the story.
"Take Velimir Zajec at Portsmouth. It's his first day and he's gone to the TV guy in good faith to talk about his new job. First question, 'Are you good enough for the job?' The poor guy only speaks half-decent English!
"So that interviewer deserves everything he gets.
"I've gained a lot of knowledge from watching games without being stressed as a manager would be. I'm more relaxed and analytical and I do it in my own time. But when I get back I imagine I'll be the same as I was before in the dugout."
The mud-caked kids he was coaching last week won't argue with that.
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